Cigar In The Waiting Room Please
The birth of a child is a wonderful thing, though as with most of married and family life it is a issue of survival. The question that we all must ask ourselves is, do I as a man have what it takes to survive this? The answer unfortunately is irrelevant, like it or not the place of the father in this modern age is in the delivery room.
Most soon to be fathers have a media distorted image of what transpires during birth. Many it seems expect to find a few nurses, a doctor and some white linen. The soon to be father will stand boldly at the head of the bed, uttering profound yet calming words to their beautiful wives. The nurses, thoroughly impressed with this calm and helpful demeanor smile appreciatively and call for someone to boil water and bring towels. Soon afterwards a perfectly formed child arrives and the happy trio rolls out of there, probably in a new and very expensive child seat/stroller combo.
- The average hospital nurse
These brave young men go into that room as warriors. Armed with all the tools they can muster, feeling prepared and ready. The wife’s purse in one hand and a fully packed suitcase in the other. They hold their heads high, shoulders back, eyes blazing with the promise of victory to come.
- Prepared
Instead, in an act of unequaled dickishness life decides to laugh at the dreams of these young men. They sit while Machines beep and warble alarmingly at the bedside, watching the indecipherable readouts spilling out unread into wire baskets. Doubt and fear gnawing at their resolve, they can only watch helplessly. Even the nurses who had been so agreeable when first imagined ignore them. Many hours later these young men leave that room sweaty, exhausted and mentally numb. Mind reeling from what can only be described as one of the most traumatic, inexplicably frightening events in the life of a man.
I often wonder how the role of a father during childbirth has changed so drastically. Occasionally I will come across an image circa 1940 where three or four fathers are relaxing in a well appointed waiting room. Smoke in hand, newspaper folded neatly on the seat next to them. These gents would seem to be chatting contentedly while boldly waiting for the birth of their child. Those times are for better or worse long gone and I don’t think we will ever see the likes of them again.
- Dicks
